Funny Quotes · Page 547

He who gives while he lives, gets to know where it goes.

— Percy Ross

“Even her pink bunny slippers seem to prick up their ears. Diary of a Penguin-napper (p. 15)”

— Sally Harris

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

— Steven Wright

In an argument; Men use reason and never have enough. Women use emotion and always have too much.

— Anonymous

Evangelion is my life and I have put everything I know into this work. This is my entire life. My life itself.

— Hideaki Anno

Dedication, absolute dedication, is what keeps one ahead!

— Bruce Lee

You reveal your own character most clearly when you describe someone else's.

— Nicky Gumbel

The ability to be funny is pretty widespread in the population.

— Robert Mankoff

Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice…

— Robert Osborne

Before I help you up when you fall down I will laugh at you so hard it will hurt, when we watch…

— Lynn M

If there's an audience, I think they're going to expect me to be funny. But what if I'm not funny? What if…

— Gene Wilder

When someone says 'Id explain but its complicated.' Im not offended they think so little of me, Im offended they think so…

— Olivia Munn

“Lachlain and Emma: 'So you expect us to sit in this enclosed compartment the entire way in silence?' 'Of course not.' She…

— Kresley Cole

“He's not my boyfriend." "Ha. That's a good one. I saw you two tonsil surfing out there." I could kill her. "I…

— Carrie Jones

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

— Bill Bailey

Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without your even asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective…

— Wendy Wasserstein

The strangest of our powers Is the courage to live Knowing that we will die, Knowing nothing more true.

— Naz?m Hikmet

I am a person, you are a person, cheese is a dairy product.

— Anonymous

I don't know why I felt so closed and bitter and threatened by the things I did not like.

— Peter Cameron

Experience is the lesson you learn right after you really need it.

— Anonymous

Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans.

— Alf Landon

There are more 'Don'ts' in golf than there are in any other avocation in life.

— Arnold Haultain

“Very nice and funny, but he put the 'or' in man-whore.”

— J. Lynn

Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.

— Yogi Berra

“Would you look at you two? What's the special occa-ouch!”

— Virginia Smith

Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

— Anonymous

Maydens, be they never so foolyshe, yet beeing fayre they are commonly fortunate.

— John Lyly

Yo can’t reason someone out of something he didn’t reason himself into.

— Jonathan Raymond

The family has always been the cornerstone of American society.

— Ronald Reagan

Something rubs off from everything you read, observe, and tinker with.

— R. F. Delderfield

They said how you been I said with my hands, knees, and elbows.

— Jerome Vance

Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone?

— Anthony de Mello

Laughter is the best medicine... but if you laugh for no reason, you need a medicine...

— Anonymous

You can manage what you do not understand; but you cannot lead it.

— Myron Tribus

If you don't do stupid things when your young, then you won't have funny stuff to talk about when you get old.

— Anonymous

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

— W. H. Auden

Age is something that doesnt matter, unless you are a cheese.

— Anonymous

I was born intelligent but education ruined it. just kidding

— Michael Angelo De Leon

I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut.

— Clement Freud

What's this business of being a writer. It's just putting one word after another.

— Irving Thalberg