Funny Quotes · Page 459

I just try to keep it fresh without sacrificing funny.

— Ron White

Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph.

— Kristin Armstrong

Where I create, there I am true.

— Rainer Maria Rilke

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;

— Ambrose Bierce

Boy, you better recognize; my love is one of a kind.

— Ritu Ghatourey

Keep on playing the Experience!

— Noel Redding

We are all captives of a story.

— Daniel Quinn

Smile to the future and it will smile back to you

— Yoko Ono

If you improve 1% a day, then in 100 days, guess what? You're 100% better.

— Ken Carter

If you stop, you'll lose everything. You've got to keep going.

— Greyson Chance

To those who know and love me I wish you well. All the rest may go to hell

— Green Monk

…dearest, loveliest Elizabeth [...] By you, I was properly humbled.

— Jane Austen

The Games have been decimated. If you take away the Eastern Bloc, you take away 50% of the medals

— Ron Pickering

That terrible moment when you drop a soap while bathing.

— Anonymous

Sow the living part of yourselves in the furrow of life.

— Miguel de Unamuno

I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out.

— Anonymous

I want to make my name on facebook nobody so when I see somebody post something stupid I can like it and…

— Unknow

When everything is in abundance, dispassion happens. And when dispassion is there, everything comes in abundance.

— Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

“Ah well. When in Vegas, ignore the douches, let the good times roll, and always carry a spare set of panties in…

— Lila Monroe

“Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,…

— Tommy Cooper

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

— George Burns

Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when…

— Rita Rudner

This funny little film we did called 'Sharknado' has caused so much buzz, I would have never imagined. It's literally caused more…

— Cassie Scerbo

Go out hard and finish harder.

— Dean Karnazes

When women do better, economies do better.

— Christine Lagarde

All is race - there is no other truth.

— Benjamin Disraeli

A transcendent being can be any miracle.

— Wayne Dyer

Success doesn't necessarily mean happiness.

— Ben Stiller

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

— Nikhil Saluja

To be a good bodybuilder you must be a good observer.

— Serge Nubret

I regularly watch the scorecards of all Ranji matches.

— Greg Chappell

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing holds us back but our thoughts.

— Steve Hagen

Nature ever provides for her own exigencies.

— Seneca the Younger

Xbox Live - The only way nerds get invited to parties.

— Anonymous

We all played bad before we played good.

— Branford Marsalis

Make history or be a part of it.

— Phil Knight

Either all days are holy or none are.

— Terry Pratchett

People are afraid of things they don't understand.

— Bill Laswell