That moment when you think someone is ignoring you when in reality you just didn't press send. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nobody gets into comedy because they feel like they're cool and funny. If they do, they're megalomaniacs. — Noel Wells Copy Share Image
I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out. — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
Dear parents, we know money doesnt grow on trees, thats why we are asking you for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instagram what you think is funny and exciting and try not to include any animal abuse! — Lena Dunham Copy Share Image
Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel… — Bob Inglis Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“That day will never come. I’ll be the last bachelor standing.” Dylan made a show of looking at his watch. “And if… — Jory Strong Copy Share Image
“A chubby vole sat as guardian between the two sections, making sure the hoi polloi didn't get any ideas above their station.… — Daniel Polansky Copy Share Image
“I picked up a transsexual hooker named Thor, all six feet of her, at the off ramp to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, as… — J.A. Konrath Copy Share Image
“They want to talk to you tomorrow.” “Tomo…” Chase choked on the word. “As in the day after today?” “Is there any… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
“Subject: Sundown Date: June 14 2011 09:35 To: Christian Grey Dear Completely & Utterly Smitten I love waking up with you, too.… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“Ukitambua vitu vya muhimu katika maisha yako hapa duniani na kuvipa kipaumbele cha kwanza, ukatumia kipaji ulichopewa na Mungu na ukafanya kazi… — Enock Maregesi Copy Share Image
