Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer. — Tommy Bolt Copy Share Image
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. — SangFroid Stalker Copy Share Image
I saw a sign today that almost made me piss myself. It said Bathrooms closed. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I can't wait to spend Monday doing nothing on a beach instead of doing nothing at work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's a battle with himself and with the ticking finger of the clock. — David Coleman Copy Share Image
Love is like a glass door¦ sometimes you dont see it, and it smacks you right in your face. — Shruti Copy Share Image
Classmate after a final: 'So how'd you do?' Me: 'Nailed it or failed it.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
3 things I've learned in school: Texting without looking, sleeping without getting caught, and team work on tests! — Carissa Aydaa Copy Share Image
I've got such effeminate hands. I could never be strong. Whenever I even got to a save, my fingers would just bend… — Robert Pattinson Copy Share Image
I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
I never understand when people say, 'Do you do comedy or tragedy?' I don't think they're very much different. They both have… — Mike Nichols Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing because you look at the careers of other filmmakers, and you see them sort of slow down, and… — Joel Coen Copy Share Image
These are some my closest friends here:) Lol, all from the Philippines:D We've been through a LOT especially in the last few… — Rachel Copy Share Image
I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
