I feel the tears slowly rolling down my eyes and suddenly the tears wont stop. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Seriously, it's like watching mild porn, watching you two eye fuck each other every two seconds.” — Jessica Sorensen Copy Share Image
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I consider myself very lucky. God has a funny way of bringing some things around and knocking you in the head with… — Jim Morris Copy Share Image
Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“Hello, Mrs. Tran...I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears. ''What did you do?'' I said over the noise as he… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Celebrating the Jewish New Year is like celebrating the regular New Year except we blow into a ram's horn and have the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Side effect of excess study :p A Guy Went To A Restaurant, He Wanted To See The Menu But He Forgot WhAt… — Rock4u Copy Share Image
“He stood and looked at me for a moment, taking in my outfit. "You look hot." "What? Me?" I stammered, completely flummoxed.… — Morgan Matson Copy Share Image
