There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everytime I think about you,damn mosquito comes and stings me on the back. — Tejquotes Copy Share Image
Your way is the best for you, but that is no sign it is the best for another. — Swami Vivekananda Copy Share Image
If your activities don't match your priorities, you are wasting your life. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
Music can be witty, but it's not funny unless it's conceptually funny. — Alan Menken Copy Share Image
It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them. — Tracey Ullman Copy Share Image
“Henry narrowed his eyes at me. "You going somewhere?" "Lacrosse field trip," I said. "I enjoy whacking the hell out of people… — Robin Benway Copy Share Image
You are personally responsible for everything in your life, once you become aware that you are personally responsible for everything in your… — Bruce H. Lipton Copy Share Image
That annoying moment when you're about to say something but your forgot what it is because someone suddenly speak out loud. — Ohteenstories Copy Share Image
People are apprehensive about finding 'The Leftovers' funny because it's such a dark circumstance, but I think, really, what the show is… — Emily Meade Copy Share Image
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“This is a theater," Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
I find it funny that when a girl says, Oh I'm so fat, or the I'm so ugly a guy who hears… — Amanda Day Copy Share Image
If a story is funny, and I made it up, then the big message is, 'Aren't I clever?' .. If a story… — Dave Gorman Copy Share Image
