Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always stayed true to myself. I've always been my outgoing and outspoken self, and just a funny guy. — Weston McKennie Copy Share Image
I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
American and French culture are really, really different, but in a way it's funny. — Patrick Mouratoglou Copy Share Image
It is important not to confuse freedom with mere permissiveness — Theodore Kaczynski Copy Share Image
Strangers think Im quiet, my friends think Im outgoing, my best friends know Im insane. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
It's surreal to be hanging out on Ozzy's patio with him talking politics. It's so funny when people doubt that he's with… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
We get some great gifts. Trophies, very funny things, one woman even made a diorama of us sitting recording the podcast. — Karen Kilgariff Copy Share Image
“Kid, time’s up,” Hunter said to the boy on Santa’s lap. “I’m not finished!” the boy cried. Hunter bent over, until their… — Lizzy Ford Copy Share Image
I remember making 'Mr. Show,' thinking, 'Man this stuff is really funny to me.' I don't know if anyone else will love… — Bob Odenkirk Copy Share Image
You think your life is hard? Just think, there's a turtle out there has been flipped on its back and can't get… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
There's this funny thing with pilots that you have to sign the contract to do the whole job before you're even offered… — Eve Best Copy Share Image
Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to… — Bob Ettinger Copy Share Image
