Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I want my online content to be so good that Google’s web crawler stops and says “Dayyyum son!” — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
May your vibrator be fully charged upon your arrival home from seeing Magic Mike. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
You must distinguish sharply between being pro free enterprise and being pro business. — Milton Friedman Copy Share Image
“I can't believe this heat," Abbey said, taking her tunic and pulling it over her head. Underneath was a form-fitting top that… — Shawn Keenan Copy Share Image
I just love carbs. And when I'm on vacation I definitely allow myself carbs, so it's always funny when people are like,… — Ashley Tisdale Copy Share Image
“Sadly, however, the sight of her generous D cups no longer sparked an ounce of interest from Little Sam, the man in… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
There is little chance that meteorologists can solve the mysteries of weather until they gain an understanding of the mutual attraction of… — Arnot Sheppard Copy Share Image
“She’s so elderly that I’m sure she was alive before sex was invented. She conceived Mick’s Dad by shaking hands with a… — Charlotte Stein Copy Share Image
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
I am as vulnerable and fragile as it is possible to be. I am shredded to the core. I am at the… — Rachel Hunter Copy Share Image
