When you know you can't be compared with awesome guys, why don't you try to be a moron? — Satyajit Chhotaray Copy Share Image
It's funny to see how ridiculous the fourth estate is and how horrible the media is. — Jimmy Dore Copy Share Image
Shut up you shit taco…Are you a faggot, demon hair?- Destery imitating his grandpa yelling at him — Destery Moore Copy Share Image
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus. — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
Dating a Cashier is All Fun and Shxxt Till you Try and Get laid with her and She Asks ''PLASTIC?'' When she… — Oupa Copy Share Image
99% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a tower about to jump. If you are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would really like to do a really cool one-hour show, maybe on, like, HBO or something like that; or something that… — Jennifer Love Hewitt Copy Share Image
“Excuse me, your attention please.” He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him.… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
I tend to develop my rambling anecdotes by actually getting up and performing them. That's the joy/horror of stand up - if… — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and… — Meghan Markle Copy Share Image
I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of… — Kaskade Copy Share Image
