Funny Quotes · Page 121

Life is too short,smile while you still have teeth!!

— Green Monk

It's hard to dream when you're deep inside of one.

— Mac Miller

Never go to a doctors whose office plants had died

— Unknow

God expects of us only what He Himself has supplied.

— Aiden Wilson Tozer

I like to think I'm pretty good at what I do.

— John Carmack

What you would seem to be, be really.

— Benjamin Franklin

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

— Joe Pesci

The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.

— Anonymous

For me exercise is more than just physical, it’s therapeutic.

— Michelle Obama

For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here".

— Ashleigh Brilliant

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?

— Woody Allen

DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

— Ambrose Bierce

Thanks to all my friends this wedding season for being too immature or undateable to get married.

— Anonymous

If someone asks you to do something for them, do it bad, so they'll never ask you to do it again

— Anonymous

Not often is there as much of a vulnerable side as there is a funny side.

— Jenny Slate

The sooner I never see you again, the better it'll be for both of us when we meet.

— Anonymous

*What happens when me and my mom get bored* Me: *dancing* Mom: What are you doing? Me: I'm dropping it like it's…

— Danielle Boyd

It's funny because, based on the music I was making before, if you'd asked me who was the one gatekeeper or influencer…

— Maggie Rogers

“How are you feeling Sweet Peach?” he enquires as he walks across to the chest of drawers, selects a pair of socks…

— J.C. McClean

“I smack myself in the forehead. “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, they’re not moving!” I exclaim. There’s a choking noise over…

— Karen Marie Moning

It may sound funny to others, but there is a sense of freedom when I am able to live on my own,…

— Soha Ali Khan

I wonder why¦ When theres something you dont want to do, you suddenly want to clean¦ but once you start cleaning, it…

— Anonymous

Dear Electricity, They're just using to u so that they can turn me on Sincerely, Computer. Dear Computer, They're using u to…

— Arashi

Ironing boards are a classic example of something I find horrible about modern society: the excitementation, for want of a better word,…

— Daniel Radcliffe

The true Amphitryon is the Amphitryon where we dine.

— John Dryden

The program is already funded. Everything is in place.

— Kenneth Williams

Thing I won't forget: Our first kiss.

— Anonymous

Frankness is uttered, but rudeness is heard.

— Nikhil Saluja

Death is not going to hold down Huell Howser.

— Mike Burns

Physical strength in a woman - thats what I am.

— Tina Turner

If you keep your cool, you'll get everything.

— Elliott Erwitt

Im not a pleaser, I'm a teaser.

— EwshyCrazyness

A poem is no place for an idea.

— E. W. Howe

God’s not out to get you - He’s out to give to you.

— Ann Voskamp

Never answer anonymous letters.

— Yogi Berra

Funny enough, I don't like vampires.

— Retta

What's worth doing even if you fail?

— Brené Brown

Jesus wept, but He never complained.

— Charles Spurgeon

Only indiscriminate love can make us free.

— Babatunde Olatunji

You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.

— Chris Rock