Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
When you practice meditation, the meditator becomes all-important and not the movement of meditation. — Jiddu Krishnamurti Copy Share Image
Don't break someone's heart they have only one, Break their bones, they have 206 of them — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Not everything's funny, Mother." "No," said Leola, "so I guess when you can laugh,, it's all the sweeter.” — Lorna Landvik Copy Share Image
No one knows what cuases an outer landscape to become an inner one. — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
The fun about being lazy is you don't give a damn even if someone's yelling at you to get up. — ShaisZ Copy Share Image
“I hated meatloaf. It was like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. So I told Mom because I… — Hayden Thorne Copy Share Image
But the way they phrase those things when you get to the voting booth, you don't know which way you're voting, cause… — Kyle Cease Copy Share Image
Actually the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife. She's living with a fitness instructor. He drinks… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
There have always been funny women. But in some ways, it takes a while for there to be women who were watching… — Megan Ganz Copy Share Image
Readjusted law school expectations: when you're so excited that your 'to do' list is down to only 143 items due in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“But you won’t abdicate." Of course not. It’s my duty to go on, to maintain the line. I can’t possibly fail in… — Mark Helprin Copy Share Image
“As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a leaky boat. Well,… — Cuthbert Soup Copy Share Image
It's a tough one because some comedians and some genres of comedy seek to shock or offend, or make somebody say, 'woah,… — Rebecca Root Copy Share Image
