The Japanese, implementing a complex, long-term, and ultimately successful strategy to dominate the U S consumer-electronics market, attacked Pearl Harbor. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called "LinkedIn." — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Travel articles appear in publications that sell large, expensive advertisements to tourism-related industries,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don't have the vaguest idea what you're… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There's an old saying among scientific guys: "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, ideally by dropping a cement truck on… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Olympic movement simply cannot allow the Russians to become estranged, because Russia is a vital part of the world sports community,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Derangement is the only possible explanation for owning a cat, an animal whose preferred mode of communication is to sink its claws… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
First, a few words about this title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here's a man who was twice elected to the most powerful position on Earth despite needing a TelePrompTer to correctly identify what… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople get ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress. — Dave Barry Copy Share
