Beard Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.7 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Beard Bottles Funny Glue Humor Sticks
I was always curious. I always wondered why Tarzan is the King of the Jungle in Africa, he was white. — Muhammad Ali Copy Share Image
If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
The beard must not be plucked. 'You will not deface the figure of your beard'. — Cyprian Copy Share Image
The beard must not be plucked. Ye shall not deface the figure of your beard. — Cyprian Copy Share Image
Like most things in life, the beard always comes first. And it sends out some kind of pheromonal call to the universe that brings… — Donal Logue Copy Share Image
I could say the beard made him look suicidal and then I'll get all sorts of letters from the bearded community. No, in my… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
Rick Rubin's undulating face hair is just as famous as his body of work. In homage to the yogis he read about as a… — Stephen Rodrick Copy Share Image
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick.… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
A beard is something that is almost like a mirror to the viewer. When someone sees you wearing a beard, they're seeing something in… — Mohsin Hamid Copy Share Image
The barman sidled toward them out of a back room. He was a grump-looking old man with a great deal of a long gray… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was born with a beard. We're quite hairy down in Latin America. We don't have to use sponges when we wash dishes. We… — Devendra Banhart Copy Share Image
If I can play, and change the mind of one person about being a Muslim player and having a beard, then I'll feel as… — Moeen Ali Copy Share Image
They were bullyin' him, Hermione, 'cause he's so small!" said Hagrid. "Small?" said Hermione. "Small?" "Hermione, I couldn't leave him," said Hagrid, tears now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Allow me," said the elf, proffering Gimlet's beard to Frito, who was now sneezing uncontrollably.” — The Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
If we didn't live venturously, plucking the wild goat by the beard, and trembling over precipices, we should never be depressed, I've no doubt;… — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
If I had to choose between the two ways of approaching the deity, I should prefer the existential relational way, to the abstract philosophical… — Frank Moore Cross Copy Share Image
If Elmore Leonard met Jim Thompson down a dark alley at midnight they might emerge a week later with thick beards, bloodshot eyes and… — Eoin Colfer Copy Share Image
As regards the quietude of the sage, he is not quiet because quietness is said to be good. He is quiet because the multitude… — Zhuangzi Copy Share Image
I like having a beard. My beard changes my face shape and allows me to see in it family members who I love and… — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
