Buying Quote by Steven Wright

I walked around a women's shoe store and tapped on every pair of golashes In it. The sales woman asked me what I was…

— Travis P

I met this little girlie, her hair was kinda curly. Went to her house and bust her out, I had to leave real early.

— Run DMC

I let her do some of my laundry and she slipped in a few meals in between, and next thing I remember, she was…

— Jackson Browne

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I met her at a backyard blockparty by the bar. And she kept lookin' at me like she knew who I was.

— Shwayze

When I was in high school, I was dating this girl and wanted to make her birthday really special. I showed up early to…

— Dave Franco

The first time I met Elizabeth Edwards, she greeted me at the door of her home juggling a yogurt in one hand and a…

— Jennifer Palmieri

Somehow I was invited to visit with Audrey Hepburn. I had this afternoon with her, and she gave me a couple things. She was…

— Winona Ryder

I got on the top of a bar, and I didnt have any underwear on, and I was wearing my skirt as a belt.…

— Pink

YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK AND THOUGHT YOU WERE IN A GIRLS BATHROOM TO PISS AND WENT HER CLOSET AND PISSED ON HER SHOES!!…

— Mike Epps

Once when I was at Newark Mall, me, my friends, my cousin, and my bodyguard were shopping and looking for suitcases cuz we had…

— Lil Romeo

All white linen with Gucci loafers. She say she cum a hundred times looking at my posters. Now she on my sofa then she…

— Pretty Ricky