Blow Quote by Steven Wright

“I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."”

Steven Wright

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Blow Causes Funny Girlfriend Humor Old girlfriend Song Spring

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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she…

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,…

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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

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Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.

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I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

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It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The…

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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I…

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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby…

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“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

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When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…

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I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

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If he wants to blow his head off, let him. I don't give a damn about Jim Bakker.

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Not I, not I, but the wind that blows through me! A fine wind is blowing the new direction of Time.

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Music is a wind that blows away the years, memories, and fear, that crouching animal I carry inside me.

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The supposedly immaterial soul, we now know, can be bisected with a knife, altered by chemicals, started or stopped by electricity, and extinguished by…

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