“how you would feel if your old girlfriend showed up and she had the IQ of a frog. You’d” — Bobby Adair Copy Share Image
Suddenly, my friend's daughters are becoming my best friends. I have so many 12-year-old girlfriends. — Cate Blanchett Copy Share Image
I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether. — Jens Lehmann Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Happiness is when you see your husband's old girlfriend and she's fatter than you. — Croft M. Pentz Copy Share Image
When your old girlfriend says... You'll never find anyone like me... just smile and reply... that is the point... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Troubled childhood? If you consider a 9 year old kid with a 35 year old girlfriend troubled. -Chazz — Blades Of Glory Copy Share Image
It's so weird to say this about the icon and legend that is Cher, but she's like an old girlfriend. We still… — Christina Aguilera Copy Share Image
It's very intense to go back to the past and revive work that I've already experienced and moved forward from. It's like… — Barry McGee Copy Share Image
Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal.Even women think, 'That would be interesting.'… — Bill Murray Copy Share Image
It's like going back to an old girlfriend you're happy you got away from. You wouldn't replace the experience at all. I'm… — Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Copy Share Image
Falling in love in high school and falling out of love - it's very digital. I've had breakups where they've called me… — Khalid Copy Share Image
“...I wondered if I'd ever be so lucky to have a girlfriend I'd grow old with, a girlfriend who knew my secrets,… — Beth Hoffman Copy Share Image
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn".… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Hey, I liked my idea of bringer her along, but you already vetoed that idea, so now I'm resorting to Plan B,… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
Im such a work in progress at the moment, its crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But… — Robert Downey, Jr Copy Share Image
“If you have ever been tempted to look up an old girlfriend or boyfriend, you will sympathize with Frederico. If you have… — Vera Marie Badertscher Copy Share Image
“That was what true love was supposed to be about. Couples slobbering all over each other, only just able to let each… — Chris Manby Copy Share Image
“An old girlfriend is a gun in your belly. It's no longer loaded, so when you see her, all you feel is… — Jonathan Tropper Copy Share Image
“Aberforth’s getting a bit annoyed,” said Fred, raising his hand in answer to several cries of greeting. “He wants a kip, and… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“I still don't know to this day how she managed to climb the 94 stairs; she was dying from an overdose. The… — Tomas Adam Nyapi Copy Share Image
“Dear Jack: I have no idea who he was. But he saved me. From you. I watched from the doorway as he… — Laurie Faria Stolarz Copy Share Image
“To my complete and utter surprise, the writing on his door is gone. Vanished. “What happened?” I ask. It takes him a… — Laurie Faria Stolarz Copy Share Image
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Schools teach kids the greatest love story of all literature is the one where a 19-year-old guy and his 13-year-old girlfriend rack… — Mary Borsellino Copy Share Image
“They sounded a lot like me and my old girlfriend Loretta, but I swore to myself that I would stop thinking about… — Junot Díaz Copy Share Image
Fuck my old girlfriend. Im ready for the new. Someone who will try to make it last because Im finally moving on… — Superman Copy Share Image
