Quote by Nikhil Saluja

If no one has ever caught me masturbating, have I even masturbated at all?

— Nikhil Saluja

My mom never caught me masturbating, so this is the next best thing I guess. Everyone needs to humiliate themselves in front of their…

— Seth Rogen

There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a…

— Dave Attell

I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in.

— Anonymous

“Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!”

— Stephen Chbosky

When you can literally Google anything, you don't feel like you have to go see it in person. You can do a lot of…

— Kristen Stewart

Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single.

— Mason Cooley

If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?

— Dana Gould

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

— Truman Capote

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things.

— Russell Brand

My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you mom decides to be in the room while you're on the computer, so you just switch to Google and stare at it.

— Anonymous