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Ass Quote by Louis C. K

“I know I'm getting old because there will be times…” quote by Louis C. K — Download Open image

“I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'”

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Ass Getting old Knows Needs Right now Thinking Time Wipe

More by Louis C. K

Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

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I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to…

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I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's…

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“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability…

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I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

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I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.

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There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I…

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“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing…

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When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way…

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You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself…

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When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

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I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot…

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I can tell you this. It is not going to be evenly constituted and when she was Speaker Pelosi, she certainly showed no interests…

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Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.

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Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes!

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“Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.”

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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

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