I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Some people think it's demeaning to victims if you ever say anything out-loud about sexual abuse of children. I don't know if… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be able to do a bunch of things at once, and not think about things you're not doing while… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know? It's bad to like jerk off and run out the door, 'cause… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can't just sit on my daughter's bed and just say 'n---' all night and then put her to sleep. I just… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school ... Technical high school, that's where dreams… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'm close to my audience. I think I have more tools in my box than other guys who might try it. Also,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If you're older, you're smarter. I just believe that. If you're in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn’t! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
My show is sort of a short-film anthology, and I'm able to tell little stories that don't necessarily carry a whole episode… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Bill Gates has 90 billion dollars ... If I had 90 billion dollars, I wouldn't have it for long because I would… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
![“I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.” quote by Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5cc/louis-c-k-1150_blackberries_i-wish-i-could-keep-a-journal-i-have-a-l_400300.jpg)
