I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's no way you ask Sean Penn a question and then, you're gonna be HUGE ! — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Human kindness has no reward. You should give to others in every way you see. expect absolutely nothing from anyone. It should… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Sometimes I just want to tell a story regardless of whether it fits what the show is saying. I’ve been in a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's people that say “It's not fair You have all that stuff.” I wasn't born with it. It was a horrible process… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
My 13-year-old daughter leaves the house at 7:15 every morning and takes a smelly city bus to school way uptown. It's like… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I'm not saying don't get married. If… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
[about being a father] I don't really remember what it was like before. Whatever I had going on, it was bullshit. It… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Race doesn't mean what it used to in America anymore. It just doesn't. Obama's black, but he's not black the way people… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
![“[about being a father] I don't really remember what it was like before. Whatever I had going on, it was bullshit. It wasn't important. It's kind of a nice thing about being a dad. My identity is really about them now, and what I can do for them, so it sort of takes the pressure off of your own…” quote by Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/366/louis-c-k-1150_being-a-dad_about-being-a-father-i-don-t-really-reme_2678938.jpg)
