The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
