Arrested Quote by Jon Stewart

“One night my old man left the day’s receipts settin on top of the safe, plumb forgot. What happened—a thief came in the night,…

— Jack Kerouac

“I didn’t want to go, but his arms were underneath me, easing me toward the edge of the gurney and a waiting wheelchair padded…

— Jennifer Echols

“You want me to do what?” Joe stretched out on the battered leather couch in his office and tried not to laugh at the…

— Shannon Stacey

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines,…

— Bill Hicks

“My wife died of someone trying to help her. He helped her find her way off a bridge and into a chained and locked…

— Jarod Kintz

“One of these fellows had crawled out from under the porch of the house at 29 Neibolt Street one day and had offered to…

— Stephen King

“At the next bend I had a brisk argument with two fat peasant ladies, balancing baskets of fruit on their heads, who were wildly…

— Gerald Durrell

“Warren could see humans further up the street, that had appeared to be dead, now rising to their feet and swaying drunkenly. One man…

— Joseph M. Chiron

“Sometimes, Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker would be thrown out a high window and that was the end of him. These…

— Eoin Colfer

On my first day in jail, a three hundred pound man named Porterhouse hit me in the back of the head with a metal…

— James Frey

“Henry unpacked the car and loaded himself up with everything they'd brought, little bags and big ones, a string tote, a knapsack. As he…

— Melissa Bank

“Turning the corner, she saw the dark figure of a man, John, pushed up against the side of his bed cast in the light…

— Shawn Kirsten Maravel