Children Quote by Jack Handey Download Open image “One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.” — Jack Handey ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.4 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Children Running Stakes Taught Vampire
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If there are ten thousand medieval peasants who create vampires by believing them real, there may be one–probably a child–who will imagine the stake… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
...belief has a second edge. If there are ten thousand medieval peasants who create vampires by believing them real, there may be one -… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“Sometimes a wooden stake is just a wooden stake. - Vampire Sigmund Freud” — Frank Lesser Copy Share Image
“Wooden stakes could render a vampire weak and useless, until the heart began to heal. Sunlight charred their flesh to a flaky, black tissue,… — Lindsey Beth Goddard Copy Share Image
“I thought only a wooden stake through the heart killed a vampire. (Amanda) A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything.… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
It is easier to drive a stake through the heart of a blood-sucking vampire than to kill off a money-sucking and useless government program. — Cal Thomas Copy Share Image
“What about stakes in the heart?" I asked now. He frowned, the center of his mouth pursed while its corners curled downward. "Anyone will… — Susan Hubbard Copy Share Image
With vampires, there is such a great tradition that you suddenly find yourself a part of. Each generation reinvents what that means to them. — Michael Sheen Copy Share Image
If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third. — Heather Brewer Copy Share Image
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey. We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine. Later on, I went into Mom and Dad's… — Jack Handey Copy Share
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you… — Jack Handey Copy Share
Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know? — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?! — Jack Handey Copy Share
I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is… — Jack Handey Copy Share
Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,… — Jacques Lusseyran Copy Share Image
I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps. — Philip DeFranco Copy Share Image
If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made… — Dimple Kapadia Copy Share Image
It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden. — Anthony Hecht Copy Share Image
Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a… — Janice Kaplan Copy Share Image
My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives… — Chris Chibnall Copy Share Image
I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about… — Floyd Cooper Copy Share Image
My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds… — Amala Akkineni Copy Share Image
A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted… — Camille Paglia Copy Share Image
As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls and old gay men together - there's a safety. They make a shield from all of the bad things they've experienced in the world. They make a home together. There are no songs about that. I… — Margaret Cho Copy Share
