Humor Quote by George Carlin Download Open image ““The mai tai got its name when two Polynesian alcoholics got in a fight over some neckwear.”” — George Carlin ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.1 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humor
There is a saying in the Islands. Beware the women of the warrior class, for all they touch is both decorative and deadly.-Yuki — Tamora Pierce Copy Share Image
“It's like two cultures had a massive fight over his face and neither won.” — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
“Some vicious thing inside me stirred. I felt it in my gut, the back of my neck, my hands. I thought of Musashi, the… — Barry Eisler Copy Share Image
Tai Shimano visited Shunryu Suzuki. "How are you feeling these days?" Suzuki replied, "They have a new name for me: Cancer!" — Shunryu Suzuki Copy Share Image
“You're strong Nakahira-san. Someone who hits first does so because he's afraid of being hit. I'm a weakling and a coward, so I strike… — Yun Kouga Copy Share Image
“Obviously, the kind that belongs to him.” Hua Cheng reached out and lifted Xie Lian’s chin. “His temper is certainly nice, but my temper… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Shan stared at his glass, then lifted it under his nose. It was the closest he would knowingly get to tasting the hard liquor.… — Eliot Pattison Copy Share Image
“Dhambi ikizidi katika taifa, Mungu ataliangamiza. Taifa likitenda haki, Mungu ataliinua.” — Enock Maregesi Copy Share Image
“Maisha yangu ni darasa. Jifunzeni kutokana na maisha yangu, jifunzeni kutokana na sifa zangu za ushupavu, jifunzeni kutokana na sifa zangu za udhaifu, kutatua… — Enock Maregesi Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants. — Rhoda Janzen Copy Share Image
“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.… — S.K. Munt Copy Share Image
“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.” — Markus Herz Copy Share Image
“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which… — Kate Quinn Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,… — Nora Ephron Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor” — Deborah Ford Copy Share Image