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Family Quote by Dana Gould

“New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!” quote by Dana Gould — Download Open image

“New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!”

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Family Function Hard Sex Synonym

More by Dana Gould

As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can…

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The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.

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Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

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I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get…

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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

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Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.

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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because…

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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.

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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible…

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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.

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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.

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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.

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I was 3-years-old - to this day it is a vivid memory. My family and I were on a boat, catching fish. As one fish was caught, he was writhing, then he was thrown against the side of the boat. You couldn't disguise what it was. This was what we did to animals to eat them. The animal went from…

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One can put some trust in the gratitude of a sovereign, and also in that of his family; under certain conditions, one can even…

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“ever day Maureen is Selfish To her friend and Family One she get mad at her friend and family and She need to Grad…

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Our concept of a family holiday was going to a guest house in the Lake district or Wales where walking was part of the…

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I have friends and family that identify as LGBTQ.

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Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of…

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It's not just that families can't buy a home or start a business without some savings tucked away.

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“She knew how to play him so very well. He slipped his hand around hers. "Friends," he repeated roughly. Her smile was bright enough to light up the room-and make him see stars. "Excellent! I'm so pleased. And now I really should go. I don't want to keep your family waiting." His family. She was going out with his family.…

As a family, we all loved the Flyers. To me, rooting for the Flyers were how I bonded with my dad especially.

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The people have always been family to me here in Las Vegas. The people have always been very, very kind to me, and it's…

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