Bachelors Quote by Craig Ferguson

“It takes a long time to become a lawyer because you need three things - a bachelor's degree, a law degree, and a desire to worship Satan.”

Craig Ferguson

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Bachelors Degrees Desire Law Lawyer Long Long time Needs Satan Three Three things Time Worship

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“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.”

Craig Ferguson

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Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.

Craig Ferguson

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Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit…

Craig Ferguson

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Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

Craig Ferguson

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People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay…

Craig Ferguson

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Whoever I had become had to die.

Craig Ferguson

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My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

Craig Ferguson

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People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.

Craig Ferguson

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I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

Craig Ferguson

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I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.

Craig Ferguson

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For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you…

Craig Ferguson

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114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.

Craig Ferguson

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others

Oscar Wilde

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Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne.

Oscar Wilde

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A married man is a man with a past, while a bachelor is a man with a future.

George Bernard Shaw

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There is no character in the comedy of human life more difficult to play well than that of an old bachelor.

Washington Irving

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Though bachelors be the strongest stakes, married men are the best binders, in the hedge of the commonwealth.

Thomas Fuller

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It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

H. L. Mencken

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Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

George Bernard Shaw

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The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya.

Tommy Chong

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Russia's Vladimir Putin appeared in public for the first time after a mysterious 10-day absence. Putin said it took him that long to recover…

Conan O'Brien

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I love to think of the whole universe together as one eternal fact. I love to think that everything is alive; that crystallization is…

Robert Green Ingersoll

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There’s a lot I don’t tell my father when he calls asking after Amy. He wouldn’t understand that she has no interest in getting…

David Sedaris

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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get…

Groucho Marx

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Bachelors Quote by Craig Ferguson

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