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Way Quotes by Jack Handey
- Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you…
- I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the…
- I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped…
- Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
- If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that…
- I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be…
- I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant…
- It seemed to me that, somehow, the blue jay was trying to communicate with me. I would see him fly into the house across the…
- To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can…
- Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the…
- Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people…
- When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn…
- I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns-regular sun and "rogue" sun. That way, when somebody asked me what time it was,…
- Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save out national…
- If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say,…
- A good way to keep a mob of peasants from killing your monster is when they break into your castle, make them be real quiet,…
- If you're traveling in a time machine, and you're eating corn on the cob, I don't think it's going to affect things one way or…
- Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.
- You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way…
- When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I…
- Basically, there are three ways the skunk and I are a lot alike. The first is, we both like to spread our "stink" around. The…
- As the light changed from red to greeen to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more…
- Instead of raising your hand to ask a question in class, how about individual push buttons on each desk? That way, when you want to…
- I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not…
- I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold a yard sale of murder weapons. Many people, for example, could…
More Ways to Read Way Quotes by Jack Handey
More Way Quotes
- Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly… — Hannah Arendt
- I do think the heart can balance out the mind, if your heart is in a good place it can give you… — Alexis Arguello
- When I was a kid, it was a huge insult to be a geek. Now it's a point of pride in a… — J. J. Abrams
- Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and… — Aristotle
- If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way. — Aristotle
- Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way. — Aristotle
- A sense is what has the power of receiving into itself the sensible forms of things without the matter, in the way… — Aristotle
- Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and… — Aristotle
- Excellence, then, is a state concerned with choice, lying in a mean, relative to us, this being determined by reason and in… — Aristotle
- I mean there's enormous pressures to harmonize freedom of speech legislation and transparency legislation around the world - within the E.U., between… — Julian Assange
- I was always interested in French poetry sort of as a sideline to my own work, I was translating contemporary French poets.… — Paul Auster
- I don't miss anything ever. Because to me, missing something is like going backward a little bit. I don't miss being in… — Fred Armisen