"When I was a child, there were times……" — Jack Handey
"When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV."
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Best Quotes
This quote is filed under Best Quotes,
one of 26,758 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes.
— Hannah Arendt
-
Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of…
— Hannah Arendt
-
When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
Hope is a waking dream.
— Aristotle
-
My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.
— Aristotle
-
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.
— Aristotle
-
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.
— Aristotle
-
It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
— Aristotle
-
Those who excel in virtue have the best right of all to rebel, but then they are of all men…
— Aristotle
-
Education is the best provision for old age.
— Aristotle
-
If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best…
— Aristotle
See all 26,758 Best Quotes »