"If I ever do a book on the……" — Jack Handey
"If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Able Quotes
This quote is filed under Able Quotes,
one of 10,642 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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On the field, blacks have been able to be super giants. But, once our playing days are over, this is…
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I believe more in precision, when you have the capability, like when you see a mosquito fly and you're able…
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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
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When it comes to the point where you occasionally look forward to being in prison on the basis that you…
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I write the paragraph, then I'm crossing out, changing words, trying to improve it. When it seems more or less…
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For centuries, the Muslims were able to co-exist perfectly well with Jews and Christians in the Middle East.
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I myself spent nine years in an insane asylum and I never had the obsession of suicide, but I know…
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Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on…
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An FBI agent ought to be able to surf the net and look for sites that instruct people how to…
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The question is, are we happy to suppose that our grandchildren may never be able to see an elephant except…
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I suffer much less than many of my colleagues. I am perfectly able to go to Australia and film within…
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Cameramen are among the most extraordinarily able and competent people I know. They have to have an insight into natural…
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