« All Up Quotes · Jim Gaffigan's Page
Up Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
- Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just…
- I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
- I used to have to do readings in church, and it was terrifying. I would never have my glasses. The words are printed so small…
- It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are…
- How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of…
- I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. Â And I need the energy if I'm…
- Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and…
- I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy"... My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in…
- I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.
- I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.
- I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.
- I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry around, because people…
- Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on…
- I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only…
More Up Quotes
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- Revolutionaries do not make revolutions. The revolutionaries are those who know when power is lying in the street and then they can… — Hannah Arendt
- I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up… — J. J. Abrams
- All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. — Aristotle
- Growing up, my ideals were Barbra Streisand, Cher, and my mom. — Kevyn Aucoin
- When I was growing up, the men in my life were abusive; women were the ones I ran to for comfort. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Stories surge up out of nowhere, and if they feel compelling, you follow them. You let them unfold inside you and see… — Paul Auster
- Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them… — Paul Auster
- Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside… — Diane Ackerman
- I write the paragraph, then I'm crossing out, changing words, trying to improve it. When it seems more or less OK, then… — Paul Auster
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- People are so damned afraid that one day they might wake up and discover that they've grown old. — Billie Joe Armstrong