"There should be a children's song: 'If you're……" — Jim Gaffigan
"There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'."
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Jim Gaffigan
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99 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan has 99 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great…
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.
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It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how…
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get…
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If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?
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I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.
See all 99 quotes by Jim Gaffigan »
More Children Quotes
This quote is filed under Children Quotes,
one of 18,494 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I…
— Asia Argento
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Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them…
— Aristotle
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Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
— Aristotle
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There's love, and certainly children you care about more than yourself. But nevertheless, we're alone in our heads.
— Paul Auster
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Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision.
— Dick Armey
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Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they…
— Richard Armour
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If you have children, you don't want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It's just not good.
— Billie Joe Armstrong
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To suggest that God specifically created a worm to torture small African children is blasphemy as far as I can…
— David Attenborough
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Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized.
— Margaret Atwood
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I didn't go to school for a full year until I was 12. In the summer I was a wild…
— Margaret Atwood
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The countenances of children, like those of animals, are masks, not faces, for they have not yet developed a significant…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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A true conservationist is a man who knows that the world is not given by his fathers, but borrowed from…
— John James Audubon
See all 18,494 Children Quotes »