"It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro……" — Jim Gaffigan
"It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass."
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Jim Gaffigan
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99 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan has 99 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great…
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your…
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how…
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get…
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If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?
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I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.
See all 99 quotes by Jim Gaffigan »
More Ass Quotes
This quote is filed under Ass Quotes,
one of 2,172 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die'... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.'
— Pat Benatar
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I get satisfaction of three kinds. One is creating something, one is being paid for it and one is the…
— William F. Buckley, Jr.
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A man that hoards up riches and enjoys them not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats thistles.
— Richard Burton
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If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!
— Kurt Cobain
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I almost resent the whole fashion thing. Good God- never wearing the same thing twice and all of those things.…
— Jennifer Aniston
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When I die, bury me on my stomach and let the world kiss my ass.
— LL Cool J
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I felt like I was definitely robbed, and I refuse to give any politically correct bullshit ass comment. I was…
— Kanye West
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The biggest sin is sitting on your ass.
— Florynce Kennedy
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Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
— John Wayne
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Life is never easy for those who dream.
— Robert James Waller
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We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It…
— Sam Houston
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I hope you're all Republicans.
— Ronald Reagan
See all 2,172 Ass Quotes »