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Love Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
- I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
- You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
- No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending…
- I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are…
- Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?
- You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
- Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
- Bacon's the best. Even the frying of bacon sounds like applause.
- Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.
- Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.
- “Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are…
- You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.
- Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
- I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.
- I just want to be known as funny.
- I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.
- I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.
- "I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on…
- "I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street,…
More Love Quotes
- Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius. — Pietro Aretino
- I want to do what I want when I want to do it not be dictated to by audiences. — Dario Argento
- I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing. — Dario Argento
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento
- When I was a teenager, I read a lot of Poe. — Dario Argento
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- I work with really hard-working people who are really good at what they do. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide