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Love Quotes by Joan Rivers
- My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
- Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be…
- I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
- I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
- I’m never without a bandage.
- I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
- You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
- You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
- On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
- "I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to…
- Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
- Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
- If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
- Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
- Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
- If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others
- I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
- Never floss a stranger.
- I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
- Better laid than never.
- It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
- Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
- I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
- I was not an attractive child.
- Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
More Ways to Read Love Quotes by Joan Rivers
More Love Quotes
- Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius. — Pietro Aretino
- I want to do what I want when I want to do it not be dictated to by audiences. — Dario Argento
- I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing. — Dario Argento
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento
- When I was a teenager, I read a lot of Poe. — Dario Argento
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- I work with really hard-working people who are really good at what they do. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide