"I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last……" — Joan Rivers
"I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke."
—
Joan Rivers
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
-
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
-
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
-
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
-
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
-
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
-
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
-
At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
-
A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
-
My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
-
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
-
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Broke Quotes
This quote is filed under Broke Quotes,
one of 1,786 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
Let me put it this way: I think Republicans tend to keep the ball in play, Democrats go for broke.
— Arthur Ashe
-
Here is everything which can lay hold of the eye, ear and imagination - everything which can charm and bewitch…
— John Adams
-
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't…
— Scott Adams
-
My dad used to draw these great cartoon figures. His dream was being a cartoonist, but he never achieved it,…
— Kathryn Bigelow
-
We never got anything out of the recordings. I'm still as broke as I was when I was with the…
— Jimmy Carl Black
-
I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
— Lewis Black
-
No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still…
— Lewis Black
-
Yes, they broke the law, but we can't deport them. Let's get over this pointing fingers and do something about…
— Michael Bloomberg
-
I almost broke my coccyx on 'The Wolf Man,' and I banged my head once. I had to fall really…
— Emily Blunt
-
Well, I'm still here. Didn't have to go to rehab, and I'm not broke.
— Jimmy Buffett
-
I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for…
— Drew Carey
-
For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That was when I broke out…
— Jim Carrey
See all 1,786 Broke Quotes »