"I said to my husband, 'Why don't you……" — Joan Rivers
"I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'"
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Call Quotes
This quote is filed under Call Quotes,
one of 9,288 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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With a goose-quill and a few sheets of paper, I mock myself of the universe. They say I am the…
— Pietro Aretino
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The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
— Richard Bach
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To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
— Isaac Asimov
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To insult someone we call him 'bestial. For deliberate cruelty and nature, 'human' might be the greater insult.
— Isaac Asimov
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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes,…
— Dave Attell
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All fiction is about people, unless it's about rabbits pretending to be people. It's all essentially characters in action, which…
— Margaret Atwood
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There's a difference between describing and evoking something. You can describe something and be quite clinical about it. To evoke…
— Margaret Atwood
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The same thing which is now called Christian religion existed among the ancients. They have begun to call 'Christian' the…
— Saint Augustine
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My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that…
— Jane Austen
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Chance is an element of life. What I try to do is study what I call the mechanics of reality…
— Paul Auster
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I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it 'content.'
— Lauren Bacall
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I would hate now to be married. It does occur to me on occasion that, if I fall and hit…
— Lauren Bacall
See all 9,288 Call Quotes »