« All You Quotes · Joan Rivers's Page
You Quotes by Joan Rivers
- We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
- Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I…
- Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
- I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is…
- I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel…
- I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
- People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
- Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
- Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
- Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to…
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say,…
- Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
- Every television show you go on is a choice.
- I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
- Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
- Comedy is learning to be funny, and you learn to be funny in small rooms with young audiences.
- I love the Internet, and I love that you can say whatever you want.
- You hear things about certain people. When you hear someone was mean to a limo driver or a wardrobe lady, or someone was rotten to…
- Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you.
- I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.
More You Quotes
- Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- If you want to annoy your neighbors, tell the truth about them. — Pietro Aretino
- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento
- I do think the heart can balance out the mind, if your heart is in a good place it can give you… — Alexis Arguello
- I believe more in precision, when you have the capability, like when you see a mosquito fly and you're able to hit… — Alexis Arguello
- I'd take precision any day over power; as far as being tactical you know you have to see what's going on in… — Alexis Arguello
- Haiti, Haiti, the further I am from you, the less I breathe. Haiti, I love you, and I will love you always.… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress and to… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide