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Life Quotes by Joan Rivers
- My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
- Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
- Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be…
- Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can…
- My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
- Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
- Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
- I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for…
- Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
- Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life…
- I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
- It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
- Never floss with a stranger.
- Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be…
- My father was a doctor so I was around death all my life. So, I was very used to it because he was a f-king…
- As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely…
- Life does not measure up to performing... Performing is perfect.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three…
- Victoria Beckham should get a life, I am not a fan of outrageous consumption. I think it is vulgar. And no-one should flaunt that they…
More Life Quotes
- Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it. — Hannah Arendt
- Culture relates to objects and is a phenomenon of the world; entertainment relates to people and is a phenomenon of life. — Hannah Arendt
- We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and providing for… — Hannah Arendt
- I do think the heart can balance out the mind, if your heart is in a good place it can give you… — Alexis Arguello
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. — Aristotle
- We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. — Aristotle
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- Happiness depends upon ourselves. — Aristotle
- I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. — Aristotle