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Age Quotes by Joan Rivers
- Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
- At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
- The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.
- Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I…
- "I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to…
- Happiness, at my age, is breathing
- I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
- The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
- With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
- When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
- You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
- I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.
- You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
- I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
- My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
- We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.
- My father was a doctor so I was around death all my life. So, I was very used to it because he was a f-king…
- At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
- Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
- Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain…
More Age Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- We live in an age of instant knowledge. And there's almost a sense of entitlement to that. — J. J. Abrams
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- I love things that age well - things that don't date, that stand the test of time and that become living examples… — Giorgio Armani
- I knew from the age of 16 that I wanted to be a writer because I just didn't think I could do… — Paul Auster
- The freethinking of one age is the common sense of the next. — Matthew Arnold
- You can fake your age or mask it, but the passion that moves the characters has to be real. — Victoria Abril
- In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every… — Brooks Atkinson
- Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. — Margaret Atwood
- For years I wanted to be older, and now I am. — Margaret Atwood