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- We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
- I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
- Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the…
- I've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me?…
- There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I've Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment…
- You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
- "I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to…
- With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
- If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful…
- I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'
- Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
- My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
- The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
- My audiences get younger all the time.
- I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.
- I get butterflies before I go out to say hello at a party.
- I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
- If youre going to be a romantic idol and try to get every teenage girl to love you, then youd be an ass to come…
- Victoria Beckham should get a life, I am not a fan of outrageous consumption. I think it is vulgar. And no-one should flaunt that they…
- How stupid can you get? Christina must have been thinking about food, thats why she forgot the words. Shes gotten so big. She looks like…
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- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
- The faces I see in the modeling industry can get dull. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. — Richard Bach
- I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- The riskiest thing you can do is get greedy. — Lance Armstrong
- If you worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on. — Lance Armstrong
- I still don't get golf. — Lance Armstrong