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Make Quotes by Joan Rivers
- We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
- I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'
- A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
- Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
- If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly
- When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
- I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.
- But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback…
- If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others
- What we do is a calling...we make people happy
- I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
- Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
- My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
- I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.
- I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll…
- You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again
- I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain…
- Victoria Beckham is so nasty, Why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to…
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