"It's so long since I've had sex I've……" — Joan Rivers
"It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Forgotten Quotes
This quote is filed under Forgotten Quotes,
one of 1,912 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I've never understood why people consider youth a time of freedom and joy. It's probably because they have forgotten their…
— Margaret Atwood
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What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten,…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a…
— Don Adams
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Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children.
— Ezra Taft Benson
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An almost forgotten means of economic self-reliance is the home production of food. We are too accustomed to going to…
— Ezra Taft Benson
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With time, many of the facts I learned were forgotten but I never lost the excitement of discovery.
— Paul Berg
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
— Milton Berle
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Britons are good, though often brutal, colonists where they come into relations with entirely uncivilized tribes whose past is so…
— Annie Besant
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Oh, I'll be forgotten too, don't worry.
— Juliette Binoche
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Injuries may be forgiven, but not forgotten.
— Aesop
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Actually oddly enough, I think my work, the activism, will be forgotten. And I hope it will. Because I hope…
— Bono
See all 1,912 Forgotten Quotes »