"My sex life is so bad, my G-spot……" — Joan Rivers
"My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Bad Quotes
This quote is filed under Bad Quotes,
one of 14,431 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing.
— Dario Argento
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Characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.
— Aristophanes
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Bad men are full of repentance.
— Aristotle
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It is the role of good journalism to take on powerful abusers, and when powerful abusers are taken on, there's…
— Julian Assange
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Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. Nothing is the worst thing that can happen…
— Richard Bach
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I would not suggest the U.S. should sit down with the North Koreans bilaterally immediately after they've fired missiles -…
— Richard Armitage
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There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex,…
— Karen Armstrong
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If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been 'Catch Me In Two Days'.
— Frank Abagnale
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People that go through what I went through and people going through divorce, it's really a difficulty process; it's heartbreaking…
— David Arquette
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If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?'…
— Arthur Ashe
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From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any…
— Isaac Asimov
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The problem with leaderless uprisings taking over is that you don't always know what you get at the other end.…
— Chinua Achebe
See all 14,431 Bad Quotes »