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Life Quotes by Jack Handey
- I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
- The old pool shooter has won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did…
- If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh too, because come on…
- Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going…
- There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage, he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second stage, he…
- Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.
- When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I…
- As the light changed from red to greeen to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more…
- If life deals you lemons, why not go kill somone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?
- Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll change their tune…
- If you're a blacksmith, probably the proudest day of your life is when you get your first anvil. How innocent you are, little blacksmith.
- Isn't it funny how one minute life can be such a struggle, and the next minute you're just driving real fast, swerving back and forth…
- If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for…
- Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull…
- Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
- When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I can't think of a single one, unless you count…
- I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?
- I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on,…
More Life Quotes
- Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it. — Hannah Arendt
- Culture relates to objects and is a phenomenon of the world; entertainment relates to people and is a phenomenon of life. — Hannah Arendt
- We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and providing for… — Hannah Arendt
- I do think the heart can balance out the mind, if your heart is in a good place it can give you… — Alexis Arguello
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. — Aristotle
- We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. — Aristotle
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- Happiness depends upon ourselves. — Aristotle
- I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. — Aristotle