"Life, to me, is like a quiet forest……" — Jack Handey

"Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull and you pull, but you can't get the rock out of the ground. So you give it a good kick, but you lose your balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then out comes a big Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife beside the pool because they thought it was real pretty. He tells you to get out of there, but you start faking it, like you're talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and chases you..."

— Jack Handey

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397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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