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Friend Quotes by Jack Handey
- Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my…
- If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of…
- I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend."
- A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go…
- If Alien was my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts…
- One day my friend called and said, "I FOUND JESUS!" and my response was "Great we are going to be rich." But it turned out…
- If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of…
More Friend Quotes
- A friend to all is a friend to none. — Aristotle
- My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. — Aristotle
- Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. — Aristotle
- If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend; on the other hand, if… — Saint Augustine
- I want my friend to miss me as long as I miss him. — Saint Augustine
- As the most social apes, we inhabit a mirror-world in which every important relationship, whether with spouse, friend or child, shapes the… — Diane Ackerman
- If Christ Jesus dwells in a man as his friend and noble leader, that man can endure all things, for Christ helps… — Teresa of Avila
- Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness. — Richard Bach
- Critics can be your most important friend. I don't read criticism of my stuff only because when it's bad, it's rough-and when… — Kevin Bacon
- When one by one our ties are torn, and friend from friend is snatched forlorn; when man is left alone to mourn,… — Anna Letitia Barbauld
- There is as much difference between the counsel that a friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there is between… — Francis Bacon
- Suspicion is far more to be wrong than right; more often unjust than just. It is no friend to virtue, and always… — Hosea Ballou