"I think the mistake a lot of us……" — Jack Handey

"I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend.""

— Jack Handey

Appointed Quotes Deep Thought Quotes Friend Quotes I Think Quotes Lot Quotes Make Quotes Mistake Quotes Our Friend Quotes Psychiatrist Quotes State Quotes States Quotes Think Quotes Thinking Quotes Us Quotes

397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…

See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »

More Appointed Quotes

This quote is filed under Appointed Quotes, one of 250 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. — Fred Allen
One of the main reasons America should re-elect President Obama is that he is still committed to cooperation. He appointed… — William J. Clinton
If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well. — Brian Clough
Oh! yes, (the prayer meeting) is the place to meet with the Holy Ghost, and this is the way to… — Charles Spurgeon
I know divers, and divers men know me, which love me as I do them: yet if I should pray… — William Tyndale
Prayer is not appointed for the furnishing of God with the knowledge of what we need, but it is designed… — Arthur W. Pink
Prayer is the way and means God has appointed for the communication of the blessings of His goodness to His… — Arthur W. Pink
Prayer is not intended to change God's purpose, nor is it to move Him to form fresh purposes. God has… — Arthur W. Pink
Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a… — Bella Abzug
Your ancestors came to Macedonia and the rest of Hellas [Greece] and did us great harm, though we had done… — Alexander the Great
...the existence and increase of our race and nation, the sustenance of its children and the purity of its blood,… — Adolf Hitler
All things are literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which have been divinely appointed, that the law… — John Ruskin

See all 250 Appointed Quotes »