Comedy Quotes

2637 quotes by 1344 authors

I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and… — Chris Tucker
Ezal: Aw, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. God. Oh, I'm hurt. Oh, my neck, my back, my neck and my back.… — Various
Pastor Clever: [at Smokey] Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins. Smokey:… — Unknown Author
Smokey: I won, gimme my money. Deebo: What money! Smokey: I lost. - Friday — Various
I think Red Dwarf has definitely matured in this series. It's not a sit-com any more, it's a comedy drama. — Craig Charles
BARRELS! MY HATRED — PewDiePie
Kevin Hart comedy shows is better then Mike Epps — Kevin Hart
This game just lures you in... like a big floppy vagina — PewDiePie
For all of those depress people find a bunny and sing, and dance with it. — Logan Fitzgerald
When people try to say sorry, I reply with spit from an alpaca. — Logan Fitzgerald
Why do you do this.. you kill me slowly bit by fucking bit.. you sit there as I die inside and you think its comedy..… — Megannn(:
When someone ask me what I believe In. I simply tell them, I believe in butter. — Logan Fitzgerald
I think comedy directors tend to feel a need to justify the bad behavior, and I just never think that. I like bad behavior, I've… — Todd Phillips
I'd love to do a movie with females in it, and not necessarily the female version of 'The Hangover,' but I'd love to. If I… — Todd Phillips
To be honest with you, since 'Ocean's 11,' 'The Hangover' has become a movie that defines Vegas. Anybody in Vegas will tell you that and… — Todd Phillips
You know, if I started worrying about what the critics think, I'd never make another comedy. You couldn't pick a less funny group than critics,… — Todd Phillips
The worst thing you can do as a comedy director is be on set and think of something ridiculous, or an actor comes up to… — Todd Phillips
Well, it's so cheesy to say but you can't find a comedy director who makes movies for critics. When a movie does $580 million worldwide,… — Todd Phillips
With comedy especially, it feels like such a clear-cut thing to be a writer-director. There is so much nuance and tone in a comedy that… — Todd Phillips
I went to Dartmouth College so simply by being an Indian-American woman, I was already so statistically interesting. And then the fact that I didn't… — Mindy Kaling

Who Wrote These Comedy Quotes

1,344 authors contributed a total of 2,637 Comedy Quotes, led by these top contributors: