Bears Quote by Bill Cosby

My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out…

— Bill Cosby

When my dad proposed to my mom, instead of giving her an engagement ring, he gave her an engagement shotgun. Because he loved to…

— Becca Kufrin

One night, my father woke me up because he'd come home with a horse. Two days later, I asked my mother where it was,…

— Roisin Murphy

I got a burlap sack, put a brick in the middle, and filled it with rags, corncobs, some Spanish moss, and sand. I hung…

— Joe Frazier

I was always a kid trying to make a buck. I borrowed a dollar from my dad, went to the penny candy store, bought…

— Guy Fieri

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in…

— Jack Handey

My nursery school did a production of 'The Three Little Pigs.' I played the third pig. When the wolf knocked on my door, I…

— Zooey Deschanel

Once I saw my parents argue because we didn't have a lot of money anymore. So, I did what I had to do. I…

— Jack Handey

When my father would yell at me, I told myself someday I'd use it in a book.

— Paula Danziger

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored and kept pestering my Dad to go and play.…

— Robert Paul

I went home one night and told my dad that an older kid was picking on me. My Dad, a Korean War vet and…

— Steve Wilkos

I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of…

— Jack Handey