P. J. O'Rourke

If the dollar weakens, then presumably all the things that we make in the United States - Buicks, for instance - can…

— P. J. O'Rourke

You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity.

— P. J. O'Rourke

There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Think of what big governments have gotten up to in this century : not one, but two world wars, the gulag, the…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics.

— P. J. O'Rourke

If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the…

— P. J. O'Rourke

You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer.

— P. J. O'Rourke

“What I believed in the Sixties: Everything. You name it. What I believe now: Nothing. Well, nothing much. Like, things that can…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little.…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Self-interest leads to honing your skills, the better to trade with.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'm 61 years old. I'm not that fearful of the future, period. I'm not going to see that much of it.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Ever read any [Friedrich] Hayek? He's great. The Road To Serfdom is like... I'm not a big political-science reader, but I actually…

— P. J. O'Rourke

When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some…

— P. J. O'Rourke

We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting.

— P. J. O'Rourke

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

— P. J. O'Rourke

It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket…

— P. J. O'Rourke